Because a lot of you Twi-Tards just looove to repeat yourself and ask the most redundant questions we’ve decided to gather and showcase some of your most frequent questions.“
Q: Why do you heathens hate Twilight?
A: For many many reasons. Just to mention a few…it’s lack of consistent logic, poor character development, cardboard ‘cut-out’ characters, purple prose, thesaurus rape, heaps of contradictions, and the morally skewed messages it’s sending to young teens as it glorifies subject matter fucked up beyond all reason whether SMeyer intended for it or not; there’s no denying it’s existence.
Q: Have you even read the book(s)?
A: Personally I find it a waste of time to passionatly debate and discuss a subject of which you know nothing about. Because of this it’s safe to assume that yes we HAVE read the books. According to one of our recent polls 36% of our members have read all 4 books, 20% have read all 3 books, 27% read the first 2 books, 15% have read 1 book, and only 2% haven’t or at least attempted to read the books.
Q: Are you insulting the fans?
A: This site is not a hate shrine, it is a critique site. We’re not here to flatter you, we’re here to discuss with other like-minded individuals who are open to intelligent discussion. We leave the fan bashing to Encyclopedia Dramatica.
Q: Hating a book is a waste of time, isn’t it?
A: This site doesn’t simply revolve around pure hatred of the book. It’s centered around allowing individuals to freely discuss their views on the series. It’s not a waste of time to express how you feel about any subject. It’s called freedom of speech, use it or lose it.
Q: What are you planning to accomplish?
A: Personally? I hope to save my generation’s sanity and overall IQ. Hey, I can dream.
Q: How can you not just love Twilight??!!!!111apple
A: I’m not easily lulled by repetitive narratives into a state of zombieness and ignorance like the vast majority of kids my age. Because of this I’m screwed, I can no longer safely walk into a public building without getting trampled and attacked by rabid Twi-Tards instead I have been forced into the life of a hermit crab. I order all my food off Amazon and get it over-nighted to my shabby apartment while I spend the last remaining days of my sad existence playing video games. ARE YOU HAPPY?! YOU WIN!!!
Oh you wish.
Q: Why do you even exist?! NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK!
A: We exist for the few who are smart enough to express their true feelings whether they be positive, negative, or simply neutral on the matter and apparently people do care. We have nearly 2,000 registered members of our community and we receive a consistent amount of traffic, roughly 2,500-4,500 unique hits a day. You’re welcome.
Q: What’s wrong with liking Twilight?
A: Absolutely nothing. It’s great that you’ve found something to devote your time to, to gush over, and to swoon over. We could care less what you do in your spare time. It’s your life, your decision, your choice. However we don’t share the same opinions as you and we’re not afraid to voice it. Just because we refuse to go with the flow or to ‘give in’ to Twilight’s ‘greatness’ doesn’t mean (like many of you) we automatically loathe anyone who opposes our views. Because unlike yourselves we appreciate and admire the right to express one’s opinion freely without being attacked, bashed, or scrutinized.
Q: I respect your opinion, but just shut up, okay?
A: …wait what? OH. I get it! It’s a game! Lemme try!! Hmm…oh I got one! I love your dress it’s gorgeous, but can you shred it and then kill it with fire please?
Q: Don’t you have a life?
A: Last I checked I had a pulse, so yes I have a life. Shitty comeback my dear foe. SHIT.
Q: I’m allowed to have my opinion, and I think Twilight is amazing!
A: Yay! Congrats to you! If you feel like going in to detail, meaning explaining why you like Twilight, (aside from EDWARD’S HAWT) then please by all means tell us by signing up on our forums! We love to hear what people think of the series negative or otherwise, like mentioned before this site is devoted to allowing EVERYONE the right to express their opinion so what are you waiting for?
Q: Gawd why are you guys so mean? It’s JUST A BOOK!
A: Before books were turned into yet another thing to squeal over in fits of mad obsession people actually–gasp–sat down and analyzed books. Books had meaning and caused the readers to think and to discuss. Sorry if we uphold a timely and intelligent form of tradition we’re just not in the mood to pulverize our brains just yet.
Q: Oh yeah, well if Twilight is so bad, then why is it so popular?
If high school has taught you anything it’s that popularity does not automatically equal greatness or brilliance. Twilight is a fad, it’s right up there with slinkys, furbies, and beanie babies. Are you telling me those were world changing implements of genius? Like…seriously?